A Christmas Story

Perhaps the most viewed movie of all time is “A Christmas Story” because every year we are subjected to 24 hours of its syndication. Outwardly, the movie is about a family experiencing Christmas in Hammond Indiana in the 1940’s, but beneath the surface it resounds with themes about racism and white supremacy. Before you dismiss my analysis, I am going to preemptively tell you what your emotion is telling your cognition right now, I am an extremist. However, in the words of Malcolm X, “the Negro in America is in an extreme predicament, show me a Negro that is not an extremist and I’ll show you one that needs psychiatric attention.” Furthermore, my thoughts are relative to those of other black behavioral scientist who in increasing numbers have said that the dominant crux of Western Civilization is racism. We African Americans have been taught by Western Civilization and it has lulled us into disbelieving that it is corrupting to the black psyche, therefore you call people like me who expose its cryptic messages a “lunatic” because you are thinking through the calibration of its spell. A primary plot in the movie is Ralphie’s obsession with the Red Rider BB Gun, it is the sole motivation to his conscious and subconscious behavioral patterns throughout the movie. Anthony Sampson says in his book “the Arms Bazaar: From Lebanon to Lockheed” that, until the fourteenth century, the word weapon was synonymous with penis. Dr. Frances Cress Welsing reveals why in her book, “The Isis Papers.” She uncovers that Mark Twain, in his book, “The Damned Human Race,” says: “There would have been the added disadvantage of the white complexion… when it comes into competition with the masses of brown and black it is endurable only because we are used to it. Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare…They make the white look unwholesome and ghastly.” Many black and white scientist view whiteness to be analogous to albinism, and Clyde Keeler in the Journal of Heredity writes, “Albinos usually have flabby muscles and reduced muscular strength…They appear to be deficient in sex hormone, and have a lower phallic posture due to flaccidity.” Couple these findings with the western adage, “god did not create all men equal, but Colonel Colt did.” This is a reference to the creator of the Colt Revolver and an admission that whites feel genetically inferior to people of color. Moreover, whites possess a fear of white genetic annihilation by the black penis because it has the strongest potential to produce melanin and since technology is developed to take over at the point of anatomical and physiological limitation, white people created the gun, as a weapon of defense, that is the exact symbolic replica of the male penis to exterminate the black male and people of color physically. Red Rider, in the movie, is an assassinator of colored people and in Ralphie’s subconscious, he wants the gun for the same purpose to ensure his genetic survival. He day dreams about protecting his family from the villain “Black Bart” who contains the only black male in the movie in his posse. Bart is black because black is seen as evil to the white mind and Ralphie wears a suit of lights as he aims his weapon of genetic defense at the black vermin. A white person wearing a suit that is sparkly white is an age old white supremist symbol. The gods in Clash of the Titans wore them, the knight in Once Upon a Time wears one, the gods in Immortals wear them and Peyton Manning used to wear one. Ralphie shoots the black villain in the buttocks as a representation of white supremacy emasculating the black male by anally raping him. This is figured by the bullets of the gun symbolizing sperm. Ralphie’s friend, Schwartz, tricks Flick into licking the pole that is the flag staff, which is another phallic symbol. This represents America encouraging its youth to have almost a sexual obsession with patriotism. While Ralphie writes his theme about what he wants for Christmas, which is he beloved genetic compensation weapon, he faces the continent of Africa on the globe as if the movie is insinuating that the people Ralphie wants to annihilate to level the genetic playing field are African. He doesn’t want a football, of which the game is a symbol of whites controlling the colored ball to produce color. Ralphie doesn’t want to control the brown ball, he wants to exterminate it. Ralphie’s father wants a bowling alley sent to the house, which is a game symbolizing the violent throwing of a black ball at white pins as a black testicle genetically breaking through white color absence. White males subconsciously play the game to pretend they have the power to create color genetically. In numerology, five is the number of man and while Miss Shields in ecstasy over Ralphie’s theme of color extermination, there lies a book on her desk, “Mathematics Book 5,” as if to assert that she is in ecstasy over the man that white supremacy personifies. The line, “The old man loved bargaining as much as an Arab Trader and was twice as shrewd,” is a reference to white people interloping into the Arab Spice Trade and feeling they were superior because they used the knowledge to trade black slaves. The F word is referred to as the queen mother of all dirty words because the queen mother in the white subconscious mind is the original black Eve who conceived them defectively, thus sex is dirty because from that point on when they had sex, they could only produce defective offspring. After drinking gallons of chocolate milk, Ralphie joins a secret society where he is to decode words in reference to saving Little Orphan Annie from the Black Pirate ship. The society’s symbol is keys of the kingdom atop the symbol of life and he is given a coin that contains the Masonic images of a snake, a crown and a shield and is anointed “Master Ralph.” His little brother Randy thinks he is a pig and likes to reside under the kitchen sink like it is his cave, and the children are scared of Santa at the mall because he looks like a molester with mistletoe on his hat. A Christmas tree is a phallic symbol and the colored balls it contains represent colored testicles that you remove after celebration, symbolizing the castration of the colored testicles when the black man was hung on a tree. Randy received three phallic symbols as gifts, a bat, a blimp and a fire truck (the ladder erects), inferring that the youngest son is to be the chosen heir to castrate the colored balls. Ralphie’s mother wants her husband to inseminate her with color and gives him a colored ball representing a colored testicle, the movie ends with the boys sleeping happily holding their figurative phallic symbols. The fear of Ralphie shooting his eye out is the fear of the genetic compensation apparatus backfiring sending sperm into the eye of the white shooter revealing that he comes from a blind past. This movie is shown more than any other movie created, you tell me why. My name is Kinshasa and these are my waking thoughts, you may disagree, but rest assured my intelligence is superior.

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One Response to A Christmas Story

  1. Lena says:

    “the Negro in America is in an extreme predicament, show me a Negro that is not an extremist and I’ll show you one that needs psychiatric attention.” …YES!

    Very interesting sista Kinshasa! Very well written.

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